Life: It's All About You!

I have written on this topic before. But, as our world demands more from us every day, it is important to revisit the idea that at the end of the day, the most important person in your life is you!

Yes, I know you tell yourself that your children or your spouse or even your job comes first...But let me ask you, if you are not taking care of you, can you really be the best version of yourself as a mother/father, wife/husband, or employee? No.

So, how do you take care of yourself? Simple, put yourself first. As hard as it can be, we always need to remember to take time for ourselves. To do things that we enjoy. Pamper ourselves a little. This can be as simple as a glass of wine after a long day, playing a game on your phone, or booking a massage. There are endless ideas for how to treat yourself.

But let's take a deeper dive into 10 ways you can put yourself first in life.

1. Set Boundaries Without Guilt

   
   

Ever say yes to something that you really wish you said no to? Start saying no! Do not agree to things that your gut tells you not to. If you don't want to, you don't have to. Life is all about choices. There are limitations here as sometimes there are things we don't want to do, but we still need to do.

This also applies with who we surround ourselves with. There are some people in this world, that we might not get along with or maybe someone who has hurt you. Go ahead and set boundaries with that person. Have that hard conversation with them. Their reaction to that will tell you if they're worth keeping in your life or not. Sometimes even family members might need to be spoken to about how they make you feel. Just because someone is your blood doesn't mean they deserve to be in your life. Your peace is more important than who you are related to.

2. Prioritize Your Health

   
   

This one should be obvious. However, in our busy lives, we often get caught up and forget to check in on ourselves. Make sure to visit the doctor yearly, go in for that scan, bloodwork, exam, or any other thing you have been neglecting to attend. I know that sometimes those things are painful or uncomfortable, and sometimes downright scary, but it is better to be safe than sorry. Would you rather sit there and not know you're dying and not be able to do anything? Or would you rather go and get checked and have the ability to extend your life? That is the dramatic side of things, but it is the reality at times, especially as we grow older.

The simple things also need to be said... drink water, exercise, shower daily, eat 3 meals a day. Just really, treat your body right. We don't understand the importance of this until it is too late.

3. Schedule "Me Time" Like an Appointment

As I mentioned earlier, it is important to take time out of our day to give ourselves time to do things that we enjoy or that relax us. Read a book, go for a walk, watch an episode of that show you've been meaning to finish. Just do whatever you want. And carve out a time if not every day then at the very least once a week. Give yourself something to look forward to. This will make the boring or bad times worth it in the end when you get to indulge in your "me time". If it helps, write it into a planner or put it in your phone that way you don't forget and you can better hold yourself accountable.

4. Practice Saying No Gracefully

   
   

As mentioned earlier, it is hard to say no. But it can be completely vital for your well-being. You do not owe anyone any lengthy excuse as to why you're saying no. The next time someone asks you to do something that you really just do not want to do (unless it's necessary or for work purposes) just say no.

5. Invest in Your Mental Health

   
   

This one is near and dear to me. I feel that sometimes your mental health can be even more important than physical health because your mental health can effect your physical health. You can invest in your mental health by checking in with yourself. Ask yourself: am I okay? If the answer, an honest answer, is no, then we need to look into finding solutions for this. Reach out to a loved one and say you really need to talk to someone. If you don't feel comfortable doing this, then set up an appointment for therapy. Yes that big scary word. It isn't as scary as it might seem. I have been with the same therapist for about 3 years. I even stopped going and went back because I felt I needed it again. You truly do not realize the amount of people receiving therapy. My therapist told me that some people even just go for guidance in life. There is someone for everyone and do not be afraid to find yourself some help. We all need help sometimes.

There are also ways to invest in your mental health right at home. You can try some yoga, which has been proven to positively affect mental health. There are also guided meditation videos right on YouTube that can help you to relax and take time out to help yourself. Of course as mentioned before, take time for yourself, this will help your mental health tremendously.

6. Pursue Your Own Goals & Dreams

This one is very important. For many years, I was told not to become a teacher because it was too stressful, or it didn't pay enough money. I listened for a long time. But then I realized that this is my dream and I am going to chase it. I wasted so many years going for degrees for the money or the low stress. I realized that I do not want a career in which I am unhappy or unfulfilled. One of the times I feel the happiest is when I am in a classroom surrounded by children. That is my personal goal and preference. I am incredibly proud of myself for deciding to go on my own path.

This doesn't have to be as big as a career choice. These can be little things. Maybe your friend says you shouldn't save your money to go to Disney Land because she feels it's a waste of money. That is a silly example. But the idea is the same. If you want to go to Disney Land then freaking go to Disney Land! It doesn't matter what it is. Just don't let anyone stop you from pursing your own goals and dreams!

7. Declutter Toxic People

This is one I have mentioned many times in previous blogs. But it still remains very important. Always surround yourself with people who lift you up not bring you down. This can be hard when you have known someone for many years, or if the person is a family member. But, that does not mean they should be in your life. If they have an overall negative vibe, kick them to the side. You deserve happiness and surrounding yourself with toxicity isn't going to bring you happiness.

8. Celebrate Your Wins

This one might seem silly. But sometimes we downplay our accomplishments. Some days an accomplishment might be graduating college. Another day an accomplishment might be just getting out of bed. No matter what the accomplishment is, celebrate it. Say "YAY!", do a little dance, tell someone about it, or maybe write about it in a journal and how proud of yourself you are.

Something that is a good idea if you like the idea of celebrating your accomplishments, is starting an accomplishment journal. It can be just a normal notebook. List every accomplishment no matter how small, if you feel proud of it in any way, write it down! This will help you to see all that you are capable of.

9. Ask for Help Without Shame

This one can be really hard. Sometimes we associate needing help with weakness. But that is so far from the truth. I feel that it means you are strong and brave if you're willing to admit you need help. This can be in situations as small as asking for help grabbing something from the top shelf at the grocery store, or as big as asking for help with suicidal ideations. No matter what it is, just know that it is okay to need help and it is okay to ask for help. We all need help sometimes.

10. Treat Rest as a Priority, Not a Reward

This one is a big one. We all go go go every day. We wait until we can't take it anymore to rest our bodies. But it is really important to rest before it gets to that point. I remember as a child, I hated naps. But now, man I would love to take more naps. If you had a long day and you're able to take a little cat nap, do it. Nothing is stopping you. Sometimes rest is just as simple as tabling the project you're working on and just sitting down and watching tv. Just take time to rest your mind, body, and soul. You will thank yourself later!

Overall, the most important thing about this is to just put yourself first! You matter the most. Again yes, it is okay to put your children, spouse, family member, etc. first. But again you can't be your best version of yourself if you are not taking time to put yourself first and do a little self-check in. It is okay to prioritize yourself. It is the most selfless thing you can do. Because your energy level, stress level, and overall health affects those around you. So start putting yourself first!